Funny Christmas Jokes!

Enjoy these Christmas jokes to tell to your family or friends around Christmas!

Father Christmas: What’s your favorite Christmas story?
Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!
Father Christmas: You mean ‘The Three Little Figs’.

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.
Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”
So the clerk handed him a mirror.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”
“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

 

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